All In.

Lack of time and abundance of homework, among other things, has kept me from updating here, but I am beginning to wish I had kept it up so far this semester. A lot is happening here.

This summer I learned a lot--about a lot of things, especially about my relationship with God and what it means to be a follower of Christ. This summer I read Katie Davis' book, "Kisses From Katie" which is about her journey from the U.S. to Uganda. Katie is not much older than I am, but she moved to Uganda and has her own business and 13 Ugandan daughters. As I read story after story of how the Lord is using her and what it means in her life to be fully committed to Jesus Christ, being a Christian suddenly wasn't just doing the church thing, spending time every day in the Word and prayer, and living the typical American life with a Christian worldview. Suddenly I saw a picture of how one person has literally given everything to go where God has called her. By no means do I think everyone must leave everything behind and leave the country (though I believe God calls many people to that), but Katie's story gives me a new perspective on what "all in" includes when we give our lives to God.

Katie isn't the only one who has influenced my perspective, but so have some missionary friends that I have in East Asia, and my friends, new people I am meeting, organizations I am learning about, classes, professors, speakers, and how all of it (no matter what class or context) seems to be meshing together to create this overwhelming understanding that I never had before.

My eyes are continually being opened to the dire need for the Light of Christ to be taken to all the nations. As I interact with real people I can see how real the need is for people to know they can be free from the darkness that enslaves them--it's not just distant concepts anymore, but the real lives of real people. And, with that, I am also seeing how what I am learning in almost every single one of my classes relates to this need, and it amazes me that we are so often so quick to forget the purpose for which God has created us: to glorify Him by telling the world about Him so that they can glorify Him and tell others so they in turn can glorify Him.....and on and on it should go.

 I feel like what I imagine the kid who sees Disney World for the first time must feel like; eyes glued open, taking everything in. I feel like I am learning so much and yet I still know so little, but for now I'll just keep learning and moving forward one step at a time.

Freedom in Discipline

For the last few weeks I have been trying to figure out how to write this post and to be honest, I still don't know. I'm not sure how to articulate what I've learned. I can see it in my life; I've gone from being in bondage to rules and expectations to being free in them. When I have tried to explain it, others have said they understand, but that must be the grace of God because I don't feel like I can accurately explain what God has taught me in this matter. What I do know is that it has to do with my heart and my mindset. When my focus is the rules, legalism results. When my focus who God is and who I am in Christ by His grace, some of those same rules that felt so much like a prison before, I now find freeing. In teaching me His grace, God has taught me freedom in discipline.

Sweet, Sweet Time

I am amazed at how sweet it is to spend time with other believers. I was at a camp last week where one of the Wellspring teams from Spring Arbor University led worship for the week. When they aren't playing music, the team spends time hanging out and helping out with the camp. Between sitting in on practices and the worship arts class they taught, hanging out during free time, zip lining, tubing, creating a sweet skit, chatting, and spending time in prayer together, my time with them was just so sweet. Typically I come home from camp and crash, and I did, physically. But I also came home energized and refreshed, which I know is only from God using Wellspring in my life this past week. There is just something about spending time with other believers, whether it be recreational things, talking about God's Word, or spending time in prayer together (which many times all happened simultaneously) that is incredibly refreshing and so sweet to my soul. You can just tell when you talk to them that they love God so much, and everything they say and do drips and oozes God's love and grace. I pray that God would use me in that way, too. That my words and actions would also drip and ooze the love and grace of God, as I experienced from Wellspring this week.

So Wellspring, if you're reading this, thank you. And keep focusing on Him this summer as you serve, because it is His light that you are shining in all that you think, say, and do.

Back Again..well maybe...

It's been such a long time since I've updated this blog, which I feel is the classic way to start a post right after a long period of blogging silence. While I have been busy, the real reason for not posting is that for a long time I didn't feel that I had anything to say here. Not that significant things haven't been happening over the last year or more of my life, because they have. Rather, I just didn't know how to share them well.

But now.

Wow.

God has been so gracious and faithful to provide this year.

There have definitely been ups and downs, as always, but God has just continued to remind me this whole year that He is in control and He's got me and all that I do. What a comfort!

I could write for a long time about all that has happened, but I won't.

Not yet.

I love my kids that I teach, and I love watching God continue to provide for them in every way, sometimes through me. I feel like I'm just along for the ride, this whole deal is all God, and I love it! I pray it grows and continues, but all I really know is that God's got it. Period.

Little Sister...

I have never been a little sister. This is part of being the oldest. I have always (though often subconciously) felt the responsibility and many times even pressures of being "the big sister." When my family came to visit me at camp this summer and my parents had to leave to take care of some other things, I immediately took on what one of my co-workers calls "Oldest Sister Syndrome" always checking to make sure everyone is okay, in the face of struggle and hurt being the strong one, being the one with answers, being told that I am looked up to. I am not complaining about being the oldest at all. In fact, I've never given much thought to anything else; this is how it is and who I am, and that is great.

But I suddenly have tasted something new. Now I'm the little sister. I moved to college a few months ago, and upon arriving, my dad saw one of the many people he knows here. He jokingly told the RA for the guys' floor in my building to "keep his guys away from me." Knowing my dad was joking, the RA did not take this on, but still took my dad seriously. Instead of being paranoid or anything like that, he chose to take on the role of a big brother. He told me that if I ever want to go for a walk at night and don't feel safe but need to be alone to call him and he'll walk about 50 feet behind me so I'm safe and protected, but still alone enough to process or cry or whatever. He has e-mailed me, addressing me as his little sister, and we talk about life and Truth and random fun things as well. For Treats in the Hall we decorated our building based off of Finding Nemo and he was Crush and I was Squirt. We had a lot of fun. He is my big brother.

On that same first day, I met another RA from another building who noticed that my day was just not going well. She asked me about it, tried to talk to me a little, but didn't push or pry. She also didn't leave. She asked me again later how I was doing, and I started to cry because I was just overwhelmed with the whole day. Now we meet on a regular basis and spend a lot of time together. We run together three times a week, she leads the Bible study I go to, and we meet to talk about the Word quite bit..all aside from just hanging out, which we also do. She encourages me constantly and goes out of her way to bless me and help me focus on God. She calls me her sister in Christ. She is one that I can go to and not feel like I have to have all the answers--even about basic things, especially about the Bible. I can ask her all kinds of questions that I have, and she sits with me, helps me understand as best as she can. She encourages me and shows me how to seek Truth. She prays for me and with me. She is my sister.

Now I am a little sister. I get to ask questions, seek answers, look up to my sister and big brother in Christ. I can be taught by them, and talk to them about just about anything. I can pray for and with them. I can go to my sister's room and cry if I need to, or just sit and laugh with either of them. I can learn so much from them as we do life together, all seeking God and His wonderful, amazing, awesome love that leaves us awestruck and sometimes in tears.

Being the oldest is good. But now it's good to be the little sister, too.

Seeking Child-Like Truth

I realize it has been a very long time since I have posted here. I said I would post more when I got to college, but that hasn't happened! College is crazy! But crazy good. I just find myself so busy sometimes that there simply isn't time to even read the other blogs I follow, forget take time to update my own. The schedule has temporarily slowed down enough for me to take some time for camp this weekend as well as take a significant nap this afternoon, shower, and I am currently ready for tomorrow which means after posting, my bed awaits me.

As previously stated, I went to camp this weekend. I only stayed for a night, but I worked Friday night and through Saturday afternoon before heading back to school. After I finished working at around 9:30 Friday night, I headed over to the Vander Kodde house to meet baby Trevor--and to see the rest of the kids. Laura saw me walk in and we started talking a little under Kelly (age 4) greeted me with "HI MICHELLE! WE'RE GOING TO OUR GRANDMA AND GRANDPA'S HOUSE!" followed quickly by a running hug as Gina (age 5) walked up and gave me a giant bear hug, both of which were topped off with a happy Bryce (age 2) running and giggling to jump into what was left of my arms. I miss their smiles and their hugs, so it was so good. I met baby Trevor and was able to help Laura out (Ben wasn't home yet) by just being with the kids while she got ready for their trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house. At one point in the evening I had Trevor in my arms, Kelly sitting on my left resting her head gently on Trevor's, Gina on my right, and Bryce precariously placed between Trevor and Gina--all four kids on my lap while reading a book!

Bryce took off to play and sing happily and I moved to the floor so Gina and Kelly could sit on the couch and play with my hair while I held Trevor and read from a book of Bible stories. They wanted to hear about Joseph, and so I began to read. It was written for children, and therefore the story was paraphrased. I read something to the extent of "and his brothers threw him into a deep, deep hole," and was immediately cut off by both Gina and Kelly who insisted that it was in fact not a hole, but a well that Joseph had been thrown into. I told them what they book said and was assured that "in the Bible it says a well, but there was no water in it because he didn't get wet." I assured Gina that I believed her and continued reading, but I was really very impressed. The next morning I checked my Bible. Gina and Kelly were right.

As I pondered this, I decided that this is what I want. I want to know the Word so well that when I hear something that is not Truth, I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt with child-like faith that this is not true, and be able to point to exactly what is. I was very impressed and humbled by Gina and Kelly's knowledge of not just the story, but of the true Word of God and the details there, but the ability to hear falsity and refute it with Truth--especially at such a young age. That is what I pray. That I will have a child-like faith and the knowledge to recognize Truth in my life and around me every day.

A New Perspective

The things that happen to your heart when you experience entirely new perspectives absolutely astounds me. This weekend my friend Sam and I went to my church to host the African Children's Choir. 21 Ugandan children came to my church to put on a benefit concert for the ministry my church has in Swaziland, Africa, and I had the privilege and honor of serving them by simply being there and meeting their needs. To describe everything that we saw and heard and experienced together this weekend is quite impossible. In fact, I believe it would be impossible to accurately express the experience Sam and I had this weekend even in person.

Saturday evening before the concert we enjoyed dinner with the children. Sam and I were introduced as Auntie Sam and Auntie Michelle (all adults are either Auntie or Uncle, like ma'am or sir). We learned some of their names and interests and just sat and enjoyed their laughter--and there was so much laughter about nothing really. It was refreshing to see the energy and excitement and joy and hear the sweet sound of their laughter about nothing! We were blessed to hear their thank you song (will forever be stuck in my head!) before we headed outside to play. The boys grabbed soccer balls and the girls painstakingly chose stones from the rock beds in the parking lot to play intense games of jacks with.

Just before the concert, after the children were in their costumes, we experienced devotions with them. Devotions did not mean someone reading from/talking about the Bible and praying. No, the children were broken up into groups and one of the groups LEAD devotions. They opened in prayer (Leno, maybe?) and then they took turns leading songs. One child would start the song, and the choir would join him or her on the next line, often in four part harmony! They would close their eyes, raise their hands, and just dance! Sometimes they would run over and grab Sam and I and dance with us! Their leaders just let them lead and enjoyed the worship themselves! And this was all BEFORE the concert itself, which was amazing. For anyone who has seen the concert, it is nothing compared to spending time with these children outside of performance mode!

These are children with HUGE dreams; pilots, teachers, pastors, politicians, the president, engineers, and more! But they are still kids who get so excited to play and interact and cannot keep the smiles off of their faces! Their laughter and excitement is brought on by the simplest of things, like singing, dancing, playing with stones or soccer balls, or just talking and joking and laughing. They do not have much, but they definitely have enough. They have what they need and they care and are provided for. They love to just be!

The time we spent before, during, and after the concert itself has brought on an interesting new perspective (which was to be expected). I learned a lot from these kids, such as the simple pleasures and joys of life, to the importance of playing, to the idea that it really is okay to move and dance and just enjoy worship! And there's so much more that could not possibly be expressed here...but our time with these children provoked an entirely new thought process and perspective, which I LOVE!