I have never been a little sister. This is part of being the oldest. I have always (though often subconciously) felt the responsibility and many times even pressures of being "the big sister." When my family came to visit me at camp this summer and my parents had to leave to take care of some other things, I immediately took on what one of my co-workers calls "Oldest Sister Syndrome" always checking to make sure everyone is okay, in the face of struggle and hurt being the strong one, being the one with answers, being told that I am looked up to. I am not complaining about being the oldest at all. In fact, I've never given much thought to anything else; this is how it is and who I am, and that is great.
But I suddenly have tasted something new. Now I'm the little sister. I moved to college a few months ago, and upon arriving, my dad saw one of the many people he knows here. He jokingly told the RA for the guys' floor in my building to "keep his guys away from me." Knowing my dad was joking, the RA did not take this on, but still took my dad seriously. Instead of being paranoid or anything like that, he chose to take on the role of a big brother. He told me that if I ever want to go for a walk at night and don't feel safe but need to be alone to call him and he'll walk about 50 feet behind me so I'm safe and protected, but still alone enough to process or cry or whatever. He has e-mailed me, addressing me as his little sister, and we talk about life and Truth and random fun things as well. For Treats in the Hall we decorated our building based off of Finding Nemo and he was Crush and I was Squirt. We had a lot of fun. He is my big brother.
On that same first day, I met another RA from another building who noticed that my day was just not going well. She asked me about it, tried to talk to me a little, but didn't push or pry. She also didn't leave. She asked me again later how I was doing, and I started to cry because I was just overwhelmed with the whole day. Now we meet on a regular basis and spend a lot of time together. We run together three times a week, she leads the Bible study I go to, and we meet to talk about the Word quite bit..all aside from just hanging out, which we also do. She encourages me constantly and goes out of her way to bless me and help me focus on God. She calls me her sister in Christ. She is one that I can go to and not feel like I have to have all the answers--even about basic things, especially about the Bible. I can ask her all kinds of questions that I have, and she sits with me, helps me understand as best as she can. She encourages me and shows me how to seek Truth. She prays for me and with me. She is my sister.
Now I am a little sister. I get to ask questions, seek answers, look up to my sister and big brother in Christ. I can be taught by them, and talk to them about just about anything. I can pray for and with them. I can go to my sister's room and cry if I need to, or just sit and laugh with either of them. I can learn so much from them as we do life together, all seeking God and His wonderful, amazing, awesome love that leaves us awestruck and sometimes in tears.
Being the oldest is good. But now it's good to be the little sister, too.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Seeking Child-Like Truth
I realize it has been a very long time since I have posted here. I said I would post more when I got to college, but that hasn't happened! College is crazy! But crazy good. I just find myself so busy sometimes that there simply isn't time to even read the other blogs I follow, forget take time to update my own. The schedule has temporarily slowed down enough for me to take some time for camp this weekend as well as take a significant nap this afternoon, shower, and I am currently ready for tomorrow which means after posting, my bed awaits me.
As previously stated, I went to camp this weekend. I only stayed for a night, but I worked Friday night and through Saturday afternoon before heading back to school. After I finished working at around 9:30 Friday night, I headed over to the Vander Kodde house to meet baby Trevor--and to see the rest of the kids. Laura saw me walk in and we started talking a little under Kelly (age 4) greeted me with "HI MICHELLE! WE'RE GOING TO OUR GRANDMA AND GRANDPA'S HOUSE!" followed quickly by a running hug as Gina (age 5) walked up and gave me a giant bear hug, both of which were topped off with a happy Bryce (age 2) running and giggling to jump into what was left of my arms. I miss their smiles and their hugs, so it was so good. I met baby Trevor and was able to help Laura out (Ben wasn't home yet) by just being with the kids while she got ready for their trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house. At one point in the evening I had Trevor in my arms, Kelly sitting on my left resting her head gently on Trevor's, Gina on my right, and Bryce precariously placed between Trevor and Gina--all four kids on my lap while reading a book!
Bryce took off to play and sing happily and I moved to the floor so Gina and Kelly could sit on the couch and play with my hair while I held Trevor and read from a book of Bible stories. They wanted to hear about Joseph, and so I began to read. It was written for children, and therefore the story was paraphrased. I read something to the extent of "and his brothers threw him into a deep, deep hole," and was immediately cut off by both Gina and Kelly who insisted that it was in fact not a hole, but a well that Joseph had been thrown into. I told them what they book said and was assured that "in the Bible it says a well, but there was no water in it because he didn't get wet." I assured Gina that I believed her and continued reading, but I was really very impressed. The next morning I checked my Bible. Gina and Kelly were right.
As I pondered this, I decided that this is what I want. I want to know the Word so well that when I hear something that is not Truth, I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt with child-like faith that this is not true, and be able to point to exactly what is. I was very impressed and humbled by Gina and Kelly's knowledge of not just the story, but of the true Word of God and the details there, but the ability to hear falsity and refute it with Truth--especially at such a young age. That is what I pray. That I will have a child-like faith and the knowledge to recognize Truth in my life and around me every day.
As previously stated, I went to camp this weekend. I only stayed for a night, but I worked Friday night and through Saturday afternoon before heading back to school. After I finished working at around 9:30 Friday night, I headed over to the Vander Kodde house to meet baby Trevor--and to see the rest of the kids. Laura saw me walk in and we started talking a little under Kelly (age 4) greeted me with "HI MICHELLE! WE'RE GOING TO OUR GRANDMA AND GRANDPA'S HOUSE!" followed quickly by a running hug as Gina (age 5) walked up and gave me a giant bear hug, both of which were topped off with a happy Bryce (age 2) running and giggling to jump into what was left of my arms. I miss their smiles and their hugs, so it was so good. I met baby Trevor and was able to help Laura out (Ben wasn't home yet) by just being with the kids while she got ready for their trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house. At one point in the evening I had Trevor in my arms, Kelly sitting on my left resting her head gently on Trevor's, Gina on my right, and Bryce precariously placed between Trevor and Gina--all four kids on my lap while reading a book!
Bryce took off to play and sing happily and I moved to the floor so Gina and Kelly could sit on the couch and play with my hair while I held Trevor and read from a book of Bible stories. They wanted to hear about Joseph, and so I began to read. It was written for children, and therefore the story was paraphrased. I read something to the extent of "and his brothers threw him into a deep, deep hole," and was immediately cut off by both Gina and Kelly who insisted that it was in fact not a hole, but a well that Joseph had been thrown into. I told them what they book said and was assured that "in the Bible it says a well, but there was no water in it because he didn't get wet." I assured Gina that I believed her and continued reading, but I was really very impressed. The next morning I checked my Bible. Gina and Kelly were right.
As I pondered this, I decided that this is what I want. I want to know the Word so well that when I hear something that is not Truth, I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt with child-like faith that this is not true, and be able to point to exactly what is. I was very impressed and humbled by Gina and Kelly's knowledge of not just the story, but of the true Word of God and the details there, but the ability to hear falsity and refute it with Truth--especially at such a young age. That is what I pray. That I will have a child-like faith and the knowledge to recognize Truth in my life and around me every day.
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